More funny sentences to help get your students thinking as they're reading.  That's what comprehension really is.

If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of refund checks.

It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.

Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

A balanced diet is a chocolate chip cookie in each hand.

The 50-50-90 rule: You have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

You can't have everything, where would you put it?

Remember once you get over the hill, you'll begin to pick up speed.

The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

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