Get Outta My face! Get
Offa My case!
Helping ourselves help others gain
self-control & self-esteem without using
or all you ever wanted to know about how
the words we choose to use can help us
lose friends and antagonize people
W660 - $19.95
- 160 pages (8½ x 11) in a 3-ring loose-leaf binder
Hypotheses in Academic Jargon
- Emotional states trigger specific and
predictable speech patterns (verbal and
non-verbal) that are developed over time.
These speech patterns in turn trigger the
specific emotional or mental states
associated with them. Too frequently,
these states and behaviors interfere with
learning and create unwanted and unnecessary
- To the extent that a person is in control of
his emotional state, he is in control of his
- To the extent that a person is in control
of his language, he is in control of his
- Rational-emotive therapy or
cognitive-behavioral therapy work best when
combined with changing habitual speech
patterns from negative or aggressive to
positive or conciliatory patterns.
- The way an individual chooses to dress is a
reflection of a behavioral mode.
Hypotheses in plain
- The way you feel helps
make you say what you say and the way you
say it. What you say and the way you say it
helps determine the way you feel.
- If you can keep your
cool, you can control what you say.
- If you control what you
say, you can keep your cool.
- The clothing you wear is
a form of an ongoing statement from black
trench coats and gang colors to student
- Tone of voice--It may not
be what you say, but HOW you say it.
- Facial expressions that
affect you feel and how those around you
react to you
- Body postures that affect
how you feel and how those around you react
- Anyone attempting to change someone's
behavior will have greater success when he
adds to his methods helping that person
change speech habits from negative and
combative to positive and friendly.
- The way you wear your
clothes can affect how you feel and how
those around you react to you.
The Different Kinds of
Speech Patterns -- The verbal can be described
here; the non-verbal can only be demonstrated in
- Attention Grabbers
- Negative: Hey, Man! or Hey,
Boy! or Hey, Girl! or Hey, You!
- Demands vs. Requests
- Positive: Would you mind...
- Making it emphatic
- Positive: Slow, deliberate tempo
- No way, Jose
- Negative: Like hell, you say.
- Positive: You have a point, but...
- Don't interrupt me/Let me
- Positive: Just one moment, and
I'll get back with you...
- Yeah, I'm listening, keep
- Negative: Yeah, man I hear you.
- Positive: You're right about that.
- Negative: Why are you always.....?
- Positive: I have a hard time
understanding you when you...
- Name calling
- Negative: Expletive deleted.
- Positive: Still searching
for a single example.
- This is the way it is, I
can't be wrong
- Negative: I never...... or
you never said...
- Positive: I don't recall....
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